Blanchard River Buzz

A blog for rabid sports fans in the Findlay Area. Maintained by Findlay Courier sports writer Jamie Baker. The opinions expressed are my own crazed ramblings and not those of my employer the Findlay Publishing Company and its subsidiaries.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


The Dan Simrell Watch didn’t last long.

Not more than 4 hours after I posted yesterday’s blog I had an email in my in box that said he had resigned. I think it was one of those, “Well you think I should resign huh? OK I will.”

In any event it’s time for new blood. He just couldn’t get the fire lit under those boys in black and orange.

On to other things.

The only thing I’ve heard anyone talk about this week, ever since Saturday night, is the Ohio State-Michigan game. Three or four stories a day are moving on the AP sports wire about the game every day this week. My contribution to the cause is talking to area coaches and finding out what they think about the game.

Here’s what I think. God bless Jim Tressel. He’s breathed new life into the rivalry from the Ohio State perspective. Remember the John Cooper era? Admit it, as an Ohio State fan you know you dreaded Michigan week because it seemed more than likely the Buckeyes were going to lay an egg.

Now since Ohio State has won three of the last four meetings I believe, Lloyd Carr has become the John Cooper in the series. He’s undeservedly taken a lot of heat. He’s done a pretty good job as head coach, but for some rabid super fans out there pretty good just isn’t good enough.

I think the difference in this game is Ohio State’s Troy Smith. He can do a lot of things at quarterback. He’s athletic, throws well and can avoid the rush. He is definitely a better Heisman candidate than Brady Quinn in my opinion.

Here is my question of the day to all of the readers out there. Lets say you have a pair of tickets to the game. Someone offers you $500 a piece for them. Do you go to the game or sell ‘em. What’s your price $200, 300, $1000 a ticket? What would you sell them for or would you hang on to them and go to the game.

Anyway here are a few Michigan jokes to brighten up your day!

Q: What's the difference between a University of Michigan fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: How many University of Michigan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the University of Michigan campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.

Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Michigan weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.

Q: Why don't University of Michigan fans let their kids play in sand boxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.

A University of Michigan fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Q: Did you hear about the University of Michigan fan who locked his keys in his car?
A: He couldn't get his family out.

Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Two University of Michigan fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first University of Michigan fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it." The first University of Michigan fan asks, "Why not?" The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
A: A visitor.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Michigan's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: Do you know why the University of Michigan football team should change its name to the "Opossums"?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Michigan campus?
A: The officials had to check ID's before letting anyone back on board.

Q: What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.

Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a University of Michigan?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: What should you do if you find three University of Michigan fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, "then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?" After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."

Q: How do you make University of Michigan cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

Q: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.

FOOTBALL: Mark Heiman is covering Liberty-Benton’s regional final against Ayersville and will have a story on Wyatt Elbin’s move from QB to RB; I am working on a Hopewell-Loudon story as they prepare for their regional final game against Norwalk St. Paul.
BASKETBALL: Work On the basketball tab is in full swing. I could tell you specifically what we are working on but then I would have to kill you. It’s top secret.
OTHER STUFF: I am also working on a story about what area coaches think about the Ohio State-Michigan game as well as a story on the UF women’s cross country team heading to nationals.

Findlay Courier Tuesday Local Sports
Ayersville beats Fairview
St. Henry blows out Pleasant
Ohio State, Browns-Steelers coverage from the Plain Dealer
Columbus Dispatch Buckeye Extra
Ceramic deer attacked by a real deer
All-NOL Story from the Tiffin Advertiser Tribune


  • At 8:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'd sell them. I've never understood the need to pay hundreds of dollars to watch a game that's much better to watch on TV! That said, I'm not a Buckeye or Wolverine fan so I don't care who wins.


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